The pain is overwhelming. The ache just won't go away. The grief almost too much to bear. The tears soak my face and neck; I can't make them stop, they just keep flowing. The separation has my heart torn in two. I can barely stand, my knees keep buckling under me. The weight is great; the burden too heavy to bear alone. I pull myself up. I'm standing--"keep standing, keep moving forward", I tell myself, "it will all be worth it".
Did you ever wonder what went through Jesus' mind as he took the punishment for us, as he endured the beatings and the stripes? Nails, tied to leather straps, ripping his flesh. Carrying the cross to that hill after the beating of his life. Nailed ( not the wimpy nails you hang pictures with, but the thick ones used to hold landscape ties together) to the cross?
The top paragraph is how I feel today. Just a lonely Mom. Aching for her kids. Praying to God that He would restore them to Himself. Crying out day and night for them. Hoping they are safe. Asking God to set His Angels round about them. Trying not to fear, or worry. Standing in the Gap for them. Interceding. Desperately trying to see through the eyes of Faith. Believing that God is moving. Believing that He loves them more than I ever could. Wishing I could put my arms around them and take away all their pain; like I did when they were young. Knowing in my heart that one day, these prayers will be answered. Holding fast and hard to the promises of the One, who suffered and died for us. The Resurrected One, the Resurrector. The Only God.
As I stood and sang this morning, God whispered to me that He has heard my cry. I was taken aback, awestruck. The God of all Creation entered into my pain, my suffering and He took it, once again, upon Himself.
I could never imagine what Jesus endured for us. I can not fathom what it was like to be separated from God the Father when He bore the sin of the whole world. I can't wrap my brain or even my heart around what it was like to endure all that he did. He tells us we must enter into His suffering. I'm not sure I understand exactly what that means, but what I do understand is that, as a mom, I would be more than willing to take any one of my children's pain. I would take their place. Maybe that is what it means. Loving others enough to be willing to take their place. Maybe, paragraph one, was exactly what He was thinking...
