Sweet Surrender

Be Still and KNOW that I AM God... 

If there was ever a Scripture verse that could completely describe and encompass the Christian walk I've longed for my entire life, it would be this verse.  As I look back on the last 19 years of walking with the Lord, I see a woman who spent a tremendous amount of time striving.  Striving to be what I thought God wanted, striving to be the best mom, the best wife, the best employee, sister and friend.  Striving, striving, striving...  It has been been one exhausting ride!

Interestingly enough, this last year has been different.  This has been the year that my God has chosen to take me to school, so to speak, in regard to "letting go and letting God".  Boy, do I wish I knew then, what I know now!  Outwardly, my life could not appear any more chaotic---complete and utter change.  Nothing familiar; Nothing!  Everything in my life has changed, and that is no exaggeration.   And yet, with all that has gone on, this could not have been a more wonderful year!

This has been the year of discovery for me.  Discovering who I am in Christ.  Discovering that the God that I have called upon for all these years, truly does love and esteem me--ME!  Discovering, not the "how to" but the "who to" lean on, trust in and fully rely on.  Discovering what His grace truly means in my life.  Discovering what my righteousness in Christ really means; and discovering how to rest in what He did, once and for all, on the cross, for me.

I have never known the peace of God for any length of time.  I always seemed to lay things on the alter and once I had a little relief, I would go back and pick those things up again.  As if to say "I got this God, you can help somebody else now."  What foolishness!  No wonder I never walked in peace, or victory.  No wonder I didn't experience His rest or abundance!

Ah, but God...Finally!  He took me away from all the familiar distractions of my life and set me down in the school of the Holy Spirit and said, "I love you, and I want you to get this."  "It's time for you to understand, so that there is no mixture in your ministry."

How does God remove a stony heart and replace it with flesh?  I used to think it was by my "giving up" things.  I used to think it was all about how much effort I put into it.  I used to think I could please Him if only I could quit doing something, quit being something.  My focus was on myself.  WRONG!!! 

He has graciously  brought me to the place where my focus is HIM.  I have no confidence, no hope, no faith, no trust in my flesh--or anyone else's, for that matter.  Its not about me being perfect through actions or works; its about Him.  What He did--to make me perfect, righteous, blameless and innocent in the sight of God.  Its all about Jesus!!  What a relief!  What peace!  What joy!  YIPPEE!!!!

Some of you, who are reading this, will think "duh, no kidding", others will not get it at all. That's OK.  I am glad that I get it.  I am grateful that God decided this year to be the year that Claudia Donovan has her "Ah Ha" moment.  I am grateful that God allowed me this year of schooling so that I could pass it along to others--His love, His grace, His forgiveness, His peace, and most of all His Word; with a greater passion and purity than I have known before.

Finally, I can surrender, all of me, to the One who is more than able---Sweet, sweet, sweet Surrender!!

I am Still, and I Know that You are God!!             For Your Glory, thank you Father.  Amen

He Makes Intercession for the Rebellious

As I was reading and praying this morning, I read again Is. 53:12..."He poured out his life unto death, and let himself be regarded as a criminal yet he bore the sins of many and made intercession for the rebellious."    I have been seeking God for the last few days about what position I should take in regard to a friend's blatant disobedience.  It  never surprises me that when I pray about what to do about someone else, God points out my own sin.  I rather expect it, and am comforted by this act of His grace.  I know now, he only wants the very best that I can be; heart, mind, body and soul.  I also know that He knows I sincerely need Him.  So, I remove the plank from my own eye, and continue to ask.  God, who is full of mercy, patiently shows me in Scripture what He would do, so that I will do likewise.  I love that about God!  He loves me enough to take time out to teach me about compassion.  He doesn't want me to "write people off" any more.  He wants me to learn to love the way He loves--without constraint or condition.

What shall I do?  Intercede, love, and be regarded in whatever way others will regard me--it makes no never mind to me.  My Savior has spoken.  I will obey.   His promises are true--always!

Is 42:3  A bruised reed He will not break, and a dimly burning wick He will not quench; He will bring forth justice in truth.

At any given time, we are all bruised reeds, dimly burning wicks, and rebels--yet He interceded for us.  Amen

I Will Be Genuine

Some people make resolutions in the New Year.  I have never been one to do that. What I do, while it may be similar, is choose a verse of Scripture that I believe God is desiring me to understand and live more fully.   This year my verses are 2 Peter 1:5-7
 "For this reason, adding your diligence to the divine promises,  employ every effort in exercising your faith to develop virtue and in exercising virtue,  to develop knowledge.  In knowledge, develop self-control, in exercising self-control, develop steadfastness; in steadfastness, develop godliness and in exercising godliness, develop brotherly affection and in  exercising brotherly affection develop Christian love."  Amplified

I chose these verses not because I think I can accomplish any of this on my own, but rather because I hear Jesus calling me to a new place (spiritually).  I chose these verses because they represent my heart's response to the grace of God.  I want what He wants for me.  Therefore,  I am an apprentice of Christ.  I am the understudy.  I am the forever student.  I am the clay... 

 If I had to summarize 2011 in one word, it would be the word overwhelming.  The year presented itself with more changes than I could number!  Some wonderful, some awful, some, well the jury is still out...
It is no wonder to me that the verse for last year was "you have need of patient endurance".  Boy did I!  But throughout the year I have grown in that area.  I learned to trust God in a way I had not previously known.  I learned to walk in His peace as never before.  I learned to really bask in His Word and His Presence and to allow Him to put the finishing touches on my "God-sufficiency" rather than my former "self-sufficient" focus.  All in all, there are some incredible blessings that have come out of 2011, and I am extraordinarily grateful!

So, here I am walking through the door of 2012.  I have a new verse, ( perhaps prophetic; like last year's), I have new challenges, new friends and most importantly, a new commitment to the One who made me for Himself.  I want to be genuine.  I want to be like Him.  I will be genuine.  I will be more like Him. For the old things have passed away, behold I am a new creation in Christ.  I am His and He is mine.   My life in 2012 will be lived for an audience of One.