You never know how awesome God is until you are dropped full throttle into an enormous trial... As I walk hand in hand with my Savior through yet another whopper of a trial, I appreciate more than ever before in my almost 45 years, the sufficiency of His grace. I will not lie and say that I am smiling away the days, most of them are tear-filled, but the peace of God fills my heart and, there are even moments of dancing before Him!
I guess I am finally learning to Trust. It is such a short, simple word, yet it is one that I struggle with on the deepest level. Its interesting to me that there are some things in our lives that are easily entrusted to God. Then there are others that He nudges out of our hands, and then there are still others that when they are taken from our control, it is as if we have been skimmed by a cannon ball. A gaping hole is what we feel. These last few weeks have been that way for me. There are few things, actually none, that have occupied the magnitude of my heart over my children. And laying them down and truly trusting that God loves them more than I ever could is hard to swallow. But God, as loving as He is, is also a jealous God. He will allow no one to come before Him in my life. He will also heal that cannon ball sized hole!
I wanted this post to be so much more than it is. I wanted it to contain all the incredible testimonies of what God has done and is continuing to do; the Scriptures that are jumping off the pages and attaching themselves to my heart, bringing me encouragement, peace, joy and life. But, no one would read something that long! (I'll save it for the book!) So, in one sentence: Jesus has become my best friend!
Being sent to a strange place, having no job, a kid that is a mess, missing my other children to the point that it is hard to breathe, etc., etc. , has been the greatest, most wonderful blessing of my life! Who knew that through all this I would end up wealthier than I have ever been! Who knew that having swollen eyes from all the tears, shaky knees, fears, doubt and little to no income would bring me to a place of TRUST. God knew, that's who... For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you, not to harm you, to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and I will be your God.
He knows... and I trust Him.
