I am still reupholstering the chairs and God is still speaking! It's pretty cool; just me and God hanging out, working on my little project while He works on His little project! (that would be me, in case you didn't catch that) I found it funny, as I was reflecting on things today, that the first time I reupholstered these chairs almost 16 years ago, I had absolutely no idea how to do it. I got some advice and even a little help from a friend, but the project was one in which I had to fully rely on God to finish. I remember talking to God and saying, "I don't have a clue how to do this Lord, but You know everything, please direct me and use this project to bring Glory to your name." I remember the feeling of awe and pride I had when the chairs were finished. I remember the first Holiday we spent sitting on them and the compliments my handiwork received. It was quite the testimony as I shared the story!
I forgot, until today, how tedious the work was and how painful at times, (I stapled my finger and stepped on an upholstery tack! OUCH!) the process was. And once again, I began to liken this project to my walk with the Lord. At one point, I was pulling about 300 staples out the top of the chair and commented out loud, (yes, I talk to myself!) "gees, did you have to be SUCH a perfectionist?" Apparently, that was the invitation God needed, to start speaking.
He began to show me the lengthy process of removing the root cause of perfectionism in my life. With every staple I pulled, I had flashes of various memories where this particular "ism" reared it's ugly head. Let me stop right here for a moment. If any of my old friends or family members are reading this, please accept my apology and thank you for your long-suffering! I wish I could tell you that God just delivered me from this one day, but that would be a lie. The truth is that God has delivered me from perfectionism, but the process has taken the last 17 years!
I remember the day God revealed to me the root of it. I had just had a party for a dear friend's birthday. As usual, I wanted everything Perfect! I, on this particular occasion had delegated (something we perfectionist rarely do) the appetizer portion of the meal to another dear friend who happened to be a fantastic chef! This particular lady, was also someone who was seldom on time for things and I remember thinking this was probably not my best idea. The day of the party came and everyone arrived, except my friend who had the appetizer! Dinner was ready and I was freaking out. She arrived, after a phone call, about an hour and half late. Let's just say that I acted utterly childish and offended many of those I had invited to be my guests. The worst part of all was that I felt, at the time, justified in my anger. The real issue; I was to find out the next day at the alter, was not that I was a hot-head, it was the well-known fact, that I was INSECURE.
No one ( who wants to continue being friends with you) can tell you that you are insecure. That information graciously came from my Heavenly Father! And so began the great dig! I asked the Lord that day to root out the insecurity and thereby remove many of the "isms" that plagued me. I also asked my friends to forgive me for acting like such a fool. The "root" was deep; not like a dandelion, but like a yucca. Now, if you don't garden, you probably don't know that the root of a yucca plant is damn- near impossible to dig out, and if you happen to leave the slightest bit of the root in the ground, it will grow up again like crazy. I only know this, because I had one in my yard and it took a backhoe to get it out! I dug at that root for an entire summer one year and the following year that plant was back and hardier than ever--that is when I got the backhoe! Unfortunately, or maybe Fortunately, depending on your point of view, God doesn't use a backhoe! He does, however, continue to whittle away at the nasty roots until one day, they are gone. Praise God! He who began a good work in me is Faithful to complete it.
Today, I understand the difference between excellence and perfectionism. I would rather do things with excellence than perfection any day! It is a good thing to see growth in yourself. The Bible says, He brings us from Glory to Glory! Now, to Him be the Glory forever and ever. Amen
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